On the Origin of the World
by Smoothie Connoisseur
Summary: Our planet's history has been shaped by the worship of deities and the basic idea that numbers hold power. What is that itch, and is something far more demonic than trolls attacking the team? Nuada/OFC
1. Snakes in the Sewers

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hellboy, or it's affiliates. Nor do I make profit/moneys from any TV shows, Hellboy itself, or any other junk that may be mentioned. I try to keep it to a minimal in this sense however.

**Author's Note: **Hi! It's taken me a good six years (this is not six years of work)to get something written and shipped off to the viewing public. I'm picky - so it might take a little for chapters to get out.

As for the story, I hope it's long, I hope I don't lose my muse or my shit along the way. It's obviously AU - canon characters, NPC's (extras basically that I've thrown in to support my story), and obviously built on what was described in the movies about the BPRD. I've never read the comics, only seen the movies. I'm sure the comics are badass…but I prefer the Golden Army for obvious reasons, and I'm not that into comics, sorry. However, the whole basis of this story is based around the origins of the comics!

The Occult!

How exciting hm?

**Important Note:**

I am a...specific egalitarian - race, gender, and religion mean absolutely nothing to me.

**Absolutely nothing.**

So with that, I am not trying to insult _any_ cultures _or_ religions in this story.

This is fiction, and purely fun.

Like I said, egalitarian = I love you all.

And it's obviously rated M…there will be murder, language, and naughty…things.

No rape, I'm not comfortable with rape, I actually stop reading a story if there's a graphic scene depicting rape, which was unfortunate for a great Batman story I was reading… -shrugs-.

Take note, you probably won't ever see a bulletin this long again.

**Other Important Note:**

**March 31/2013**

I went off the deep end…okay not really. I did however, get sucked into life. Life collapsed, my thinking…became distorted. Then I got back up.

The end.

Massive edit, same idea.

Let's get on with it.

**Summary: **

Our planet's history has been shaped by the worship of deities and the basic idea that numbers hold power. What is that itch, and is something far more demonic then trolls attacking the team? Nuada/OFC

* * *

**On the Origin of the World**

**Chapter 1**

_**'Snakes in the Sewers'**_

**by Smoothie Connoisseur**

* * *

"The word _violin_ comes from the Medieval Latin word _vitula_, meaning _stringed instrument_; this word is also believed to be the source of the Germanic "fiddle".

* * *

"Liz, you're not going to believe it...I just found this reallyamazingthing, it's called copy...and paste. Better, faster, **stronger. **Twice the carbs, half the fat." I flexed my biceps as dramatically as I could.

Snickering as I slid my headphones off, I let the the music play atop the desk, obviously not wanting to be rude.

Liz had continued past me, glancing back once with a mischievous grin. Hearing her feet shuffle towards the back of the room, I had an idea where she stopped; a set of keys dangling could be heard momentarily, then the quick sound of a lock, and an abrupt _Ting! _follow suit.

_Good old G cabinet, I wonder what mysteries you hold…_

"Always very mature, I was trying to compliment you on the fact that you know what half this stuff even means...still," Liz finally replied; I shot her a look over the computer monitor now.

I had worked for the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense as an archivist for seven years now coming this October, my birthday actually, but who was counting?

Archivist is nothing like it sounds.

"So much for complimenting my intellectuality Elizabeth," I quickly reverted back to my computer screen and resumed typing with a quiet grin on my face. Liz could only snort in response.

"Pfft, go… play with your monkey or something Liz," I paused briefly, "Cuz' here at archives, we take things seriously. Unlike over at _your _department where you're busy swinging from the trees, and blasting through tr- dear god, that was a big one last time wasn't it? Wait, what the hell is that?"

I gawked mid sentence upon sifting through the photos that came attached with the disc; I hadn't even bothered to look through the large manila envelope where the originals were printed off, opting for setting straight to the boring paperwork on the computer.

I always saved the best part of the run for last - the juicy raw footage.

But since Liz came to visit, I thought hey, why not break a tradition for once? So in a just a few short clicks, monster glory was ours to behold.

"Mhmm, found him in the sewers, practically the size of a boat, just...no bones. Well, a light exoskeleton, tissue like almost, you know what I mean? On it's back, like a-"

"Snake?" I cut her off absentmindedly, still lost in a particular image of what I assumed was the back of the creature's head. With my mouth slightly hung loose, I continued to stare intently at the screen ahead, bringing my face closer and closer to the monitor.

It was big, and black. And was littered with a diamond back design in several shades of brown and green, muddling the true skin colour largely.

It was hideous.

Until a square caught my eye…well, what appeared to be a square that is. Hopefully this picture captured something clear enough.

"Strange, it's got a grid-like pattern to it…almost like a, what is that?" I mumbled as I scrolled the middle mouse button to zoom in, "Every other one is filled in…" I whispered to myself, quickly glancing at the zoom percentage.

So no wonder it was by chance a piece caught my eye, you'd have to be either looking for it, or familiar, like I was.

From the looks of it, this was no ordinary catch. Well, it was an ordinary catch to ordinary people, but in the Occult universe, it was a whole other sport.

"Holy, I've gotta' see this thing up close, did you-"

"Well you know I would _love_ to take you in…but unfortunately that's not your job sweetheart!" She paused, "Aaand it released a toxin in the air that is currently sustaining itself, actively...so until the lab's got it cleared out, not even _I'm _allowed in there, and I was there to capture the damn thing." Liz cut me off, knowing what I was going to ask.

"Ah capture or _de_capitate there, princess?" I challenged the older pyrokinetic humorously, but immediately turned concerned, "And woah, woah, toxin? The word pregnant is in your vocabulary now Liz, and I thought the last run was your last run? You can't be playing John McClane from Diehard with the ghouls, you've gotta be playing…_house_ with the ghouls, oddly enough." I outwardly cringed, "Seriously, how does he fit i-"

"You snore when you take a nap at the pool," she accused flippantly, not lifting her head from her file.

"Oh come on honey bee," I peered over the monitor then as she slowly rolled her head in my direction with a bored look.

Pursing my lips into a pout and in a soothing voice, "I was only teasing about your boyfriend." She merely stuck out her tongue at me, knowing I was at least half kidding. "By the way, when are you two gonna get hitched? I don't see a rock on that finger from the looks of it," I accused with an appendage pointed obscenely and rigid at her.

"Why do you always bring that up? You just said I was _pregnant_, which I wasn't even planning to _do,_ so I don't have time to be stressing about planning a wedding Alaizabel, you're gifted with common sense, I'm sure you would have put that together by now."

"I didn't _say _run off and get married right now, I said you don't have a rock on your finger, as in, **why aren't you engaged.** After twins and almost dieing in Antwerp, you'd think the guy might be, I don't know, a little more soft and wanting to settle down with the hottest, literally, thing to walk this planet? Come on _Elizabeth_, best interests here," I explained waspishly, where a sigh was soon heard after.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry…I guess I'm still, shell shocked from that…and finding out I have _twins_," she explained solemnly.

"No apologizes bear," I waved her off quickly and ever so slowly started, "Just know that I was right- _Ow! _**REALLY?** Oh, yeah, very cute…yeah, you too angel." She had come out of nowhere and ploughed straight through my face with a stack of manila folders and proceeded to wish me a wonderful day.

"Don't forget to play with **URSULA FOR ME!**" I yelled off the last part as she had been almost all the way through the swinging double doors to the main hallway.

Unfortunately, amidst my laughter, my back had cracked just the slightest bit…uncomfortably.

* * *

Amidst the expanse of the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defence, was a very flustered certain daemon - currently pacing back and forth in front of his bathroom mirror.

"Lizwillyoumarryme?"

"Liz! Willyoumarryme!"

"Liz…how's Vegas sound?"

Plopping his elbows down on the counter top with a sigh of defeat, Agent Hellboy tiredly mashed is palm straight into his face with a sigh once more.

_You can do this._

"Liz," He immediately spotted his best friend standing in the doorway behind him, "Abe!" Spinning around quickly, "…what are you doing here?" The daemon inquired suspiciously.

Taking a step forward, he tried to soothe his friend, "Red, you just need to tell her how you _feel, _you know she knows that you love her! And I'm sure she feels the same way!"

An obnoxious groan was Abe's only response from the currently acting like a child, best friend of his.

"You have nothing to worry about my friend, besides, you are to have _children_ with Liz, she should be more than happy to have your hand in marriage," He explained triumphantly, then paused looking for a reaction, "You know that Red."

"Ahhh," Hellboy had started to groan,"…I know, thanks buddy." Hellboy squinted his eyes shut and waved his arm dismissively.

"So when do you plan on doing it?"

"That quick huh?" Came Hellboy's bored reply.

"Well…it's, curiosity I suppose." The amphibious man pondered to himself.

Hellboy took this opportunity to divert his friend's attention quickly, "So how are you and uh…the prin_cesse, _doin' by the way?" The large red-skinned humanoid asked with his brows raised, now leaning on the door frame.

"Don't you worry-"

"Ah come on, _spill it_, have you done the deed monsieur?"

"Hellboy! That is none of your concern! My private life is not on display for public approval, I never ask you about _Liz-_"

"You haven't." Hellboy plainly answered both questions for himself as he lightly brushed passed his friend into the bedroom.

Note the bedroom was quite clean save for a few of Hellboy's pants strewn around, and had been for about a couple of months now; Liz had insisted for the babies' health that the room be free of clutter and…cat excrement. Hellboy had albeit reluctantly, readily agreed, but only if they were placed for adoption amongst the staff and surrounding community. He got his request, all under a different company name of course.

Government seemed to have unlimited power really.

Fortunately, Hellboy was allowed to keep two, as real pets.

He had dubbed them Marco and Leonel, the unbeatable Mexican cousins, as a homage to his current favourite TV show.

Since the room was already small enough, they needed enough room to keep the twins as babies for at least a couple of weeks until the bureau was finished accommodating for a much larger room.

One with separate rooms for the twins attached to the main of course, Liz and Hellboy did need their sleep.

However, everyone kind of assumed that after the twins were born, the parents were obviously to move to the countryside. Who knew how much room the children were going to need to roam?

But they'd obviously figure that all out once they got to the actual delivery date of June 25 2010.

Agreeing that it plays out like a human pregnancy and all.

Hellboy found a spot on the edge of the bed and clutched his face in his hands,

"I really hope she says _yess_."

"Relax old friend, everything is going to be perfect." Abe had joined him in the main living-bedroom now.

Hellboy regarded his blue companion now as he took a seat next to him, "Same for you buddy."

The pals grinned to each other.

* * *

It was early Wednesday morning and I had been sitting for a good thirty minutes already.

"So Chuck, any news on that catch they got from the sewers?" I had asked my co-worker across from me - without taking my eyes off of my work, or my typing. I had to be as nonchalant about it as I could; didn't need anyone knowing about the hobby, not good for publicity.

_What publicity?_

It had been three weeks since the run and the day Liz had stopped by the archives, I hoped that whatever toxin it had released was cleared now, I was getting antsy.

"Yeah that thing was crazy huh? Word down the grapevine says, that in fact, it was the Prince who took it out." Chuck chimed with a slightly raised voice.

"Oh yeah? Proved his worth there a little huh?"

That guy was supposedly really scary, so I chose to stay away from that area of conversation, "I heard it released some sort of fumes in the air that stuck, you ever heard of that kind of voodoo?"

Fast typing could be heard on the other end, so I waited patiently for his reply.

Finally, "Oh yeah, they were saying something about that, maybe last week? They got it cleared and are pretty much done doing the autopsy on it now, ready for the corral."

The Corral: final resting place for every paranormal entity ever caught by the Bureau. It should be changed to 'my worst nightmare' however if this thing gets there before I get to **it**.

"Really? Did they find anything out of the ordinary?"

"Not that I'm aware of, they really haven't said much about it, s'posed to be like any other anomaly they've caught or taken out."

"Hah, well that's no fun then, hm?"

"Yeah I guess." He laughed, obviously not aware how interested in it I was.

Guess it was time to pay a certain fish-man a visit.

* * *

A few hours later, it was finally time for my lunch break; so I scoffed it down as quick as I could and raced down the little set of dummy stairs from office to one of the main hallways. Hopefully, Abe was still in the habit of having lunch in the cafeteria. I briskly advanced through the stark halls, the characters AREA 51 passing me every so often.

The cafeteria was a little ways away from my office, but I hadn't visited in forever down this way, so I gladly took the opportunity.

Eventually, I found myself strolling as slow as I could when I passed the lunch room for the lower level occupants.

_No Abe here_, I thought quietly to myself, _probably in the Library with the princess or something._

Continuing passed the lunch room for another couple of minutes to the rather large Library, I slowly came upon the familiar double doors - with two Bureau security guards stationed on either side of them.

I paused immediately with a very confused look on my face and regarded either guard, neither of which said a word to me.

Then almost immediately I put two and two together - just extra security on important places due to the Bethmooran royalty being held here.

With worries set aside, I slowly opened the heavy double doors and peered inside…_Please don't let there be a Liz here…yes!_

"My dearest Abe!" I affectionately bellowed, my voice bouncing off of the spacious library walls. Stretching out my arms and ignoring the pale princess next to him, I moved in for the kill -I had to move quick, otherwise I would have been overtly polite.

"How do you fare this day old friend?" I clasped my hands together and addressed him in an overtly saccharine tone of voice.

Obviously startled, and probably a little put off by my abrupt entrance, Abe eventually clamoured to his feet from the bench he had been sitting at and politely addressed me.

"Oh, Alaizabel! I didn't expect to see you here!" I had apparently caught him off guard, he appeared to be flustered, except not in the sexually frustrated kind of way.

"Is this a bad time?" I asked concerned.

"No not at all, what did you need? I never see you down here is all, you seem to be very busy with your work in the Archives." He explained in his normal jittery tone.

Pointing with my index finger, "It's a couple steps up actually, not considered a separate floor," I noticed his eyes glitter at me trying to save myself, "But I see your point," I conceded, giving in.

I quickly darted over to the main entrance doors, peered outside suspiciously quick and shut them tight, as well as the side door to the office, after peering into it as well, checking for signs of Liz.

"Alaizabel, what are you doing?" Abe had asked meekly, a short minute into my sudden outburst of checking and shutting doors.

"Nothing dearest Abe," I smiled, and made my way back to a very visibly confused blue man.

"Now, what do I need to give _you _to get me into that autopsy room with the snake before they clear it out?" I wasted no time or sympathy in cutting to the chase.

Abe had visibly froze for a second, but quickly recovered.

"You were looking for Liz weren't you?" He replied in a bored tone, "And what makes you think it is in fact a snake?"

"That's besides the point, now, answers here, I've got a limited amount of time before she comes snooping for a book to try to read to the babies or something," I didn't give him an answer, the clock was ticking.

"You know you're not allowed down there - it's too dangerous and there are obviously security cameras, so even if I were to sneak youindon't you give me that look, I told you I was not going to do that again just because you wanted to see the thing up close! I will not be held respon-"

"Oh relax ya' big porpoise, no ones getting eaten, or caught, or raped, and no one **did **last time _either_, besides, this** isn'tforfascinationpurposeshere**, consider it," I tapped his shoulder then, "Ah, consider it a science project of the sorts, a personal science project, you love it when I take the initiative, right?" I was losing him, I had to salvage my only hopes of getting down there.

Abe considered this for a moment.

"What kind of science project?" He finally asked.

"Why does it matter? You know security isn't a problem for these hands." Abe rolled his eyes at this and I laughed, still unbudging.

"Come on, do it for your old pal Belsy, hmm?" I then took his damp webbed hands into my warm pale ones, and in a soft, gentle voice, "Please Abe? We can go for a swim again at the beach...or we could watch Breaking Bad together, Red isn't the _only_ one who has all of the DVD's in this building, I-I mean, **who** do you think introduced him to Breaking Bad?"

He wasn't budging.

Abandoning all dignity, I switched to a droning and painful voice, "**Pleeeease Abe, just this one little thing for meeee,**" I begged like an eight year old brat, I saw no other way.

"Fine!" He finally caved, "But you have to promise you won't do anything reckless!"

Pausing abruptly, "Who do you expect to be down there? Kong? The thing is dead, right?" I finally asked wide-eyed.

"If it wasn't, would you be so _desperate_?" Out of nowhere, a chilling voice full of mockery, had slowly crept out from what I assumed was behind the upper level bookcases.

_The guards out front._

It clicked now.

And cue the freezing of my limbs.

I couldn't believe I had walked right into it, loud, and unforgiving as a herd of water buffalo on a stampede.

He had been listening the entire time to my little display, and now he knew that I was interested in that catch.

_How could you be so careless!_

After a moment, I had gathered my wits and attempted to study my opponent via my peripherals; his presence was strong that was certain, almost unbearable it seemed, an air of authority much superior to myself seemed to emanate from him as he stood next to a bookcase. Pristine marble skin, and long silver hair, all situated atop a lithe, and darkly clothed form.

_I don't feel comfortable._

I only ever felt this nervous back in the seventh grade when my French teacher called on me to answer a question for my homework - I had sucked at French.

Was it just me, or did the temperature just drop a couple of degrees in here?

Sighing inwardly, the best I could do at this point was remain calm and try to act like it wasn't a big deal; this was one guy that probably didn't care much for crude language, or bad puns. To top the cake, he was Elvish royalty, so naturally I didn't want to make a fool of myself. I had no idea how they walked or talked at the royal court, so I was determined to put in my best effort, you know, for _publicity _and all…

"Most likely not, but seeing as though it _is_, I'm sure Abe and I won't have a problem," I finally replied as politely as I could, trying my hardest to not take my eyes off of Abe in front of me.

I had a horrible poker face.

My amphibious friend stared at me now with wide eyes warning me, as if to say, _don't you __**dare.**_

Silence in the room now, no one moved, and no one probably breathed.

And after what seemed like an eternity of no reply given, I spoke.

"So tonight then Abe, it's Wednesday, meaning it'll be dead. Meet me at ten?" I conveyed simple instructions in a soft tone, Abe nodded quickly.

"I gotta jet before Liz finds me here, so uh, I'll see ya.'" I whispered, squeezing one webbed fist and turning around slowly to trudge up the stairs, my small frame sliding in between both double doors quietly.

And just like that, I was caught like a bee that had smoked too much and dove straight into the honey.

_It's because I was in a rush, that has to be it._

I had stopped now on the side wall for just a moment, to catch my bearings.

Looking back on the events that transpired not five minutes ago, I took note of a huge factor - he had an unbearably large presence about him when he did decide to make an appearance, it was actually hard to breathe. At least I knew now that I wouldn't be caught with my pants down again.

"Ack, itchy." I nonchalantly raised my arm to scratch the back of my shoulder blade for what was maybe the tenth time today.

_Well, back to work._


	2. Curiosity is the Lust of the Mind

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hellboy, or it's affiliates. Nor do I make profit/moneys from any TV shows, Hellboy itself, or any other junk that may be mentioned. I try to keep it to a minimal in this sense however.

**A/N: **

Also, Hellboy 2 came out in July 2009, meaning Liz will have her twins in **2010 **not 2009, which was the idiocy I so proudly displayed on the first chapter...which has now been edited.

How it happened:

SC: Nananananana Batman! -James Bond Theme plays-

...

:)

Again, no Beta reader, so mind the mistakes I don't catch!

**-SC**

* * *

**On the Origin of the World**

**Chapter 2**

**_'Curiosity is the Lust of the Mind'_**

**by Smoothie Connoisseur**

* * *

Oona was a feline of few words; she never meowed much, never really growled, never hissed and never freaked out. She generally preferred to carefully observe, occasionally sniff, and then reply with how wide her eyes would get. I had come to this conclusion slowly over the past four years I had owned her so far.

Extremely attached though, she obviously yearned for a mother, and I was only too happy to give her all of the love and attention she needed.

A real brat with cleanliness though.

So much, I had to put up a sign in my entrance so as to warn people to put their shoes in the closet if they decided to stick around in my little apartment.

For a cat of few words, she was chock full of personality.

However, a face of worry and deep concern had been staring at me for quite some time now, instead of the usual quirky bug eyes.

I was utterly confused.

_Probably knows I'm leaving for a couple of hours instead of snuggling with her, figures._

Calling her with the familiar kissing sounds that a perfectly normal human talks to their cat in…I attempted to get a reaction out of her. But my coaxing however, obviously fell on deaf ears.

"Hey, why the long face?" I questioned my furry companion out loud now; I wasn't sad, just anxious.

Anything could be waiting for me down there - answers… more puzzles, and I was leaning towards more puzzles, or a whole load of nothing.

And there was the ever always present slight chance of being caught by security on one of their rounds.

_Maybe like **two **percent._

Back to my kitty conundrum, she continued to stare at me now, still just as worried as she was a minute ago. I attributed this to me leaving again, and quickly bent down to scoop the little tuxedo cat up into my arms.

Scratching behind her ears and coddling her like a human, "Hairy kitty, it's okay. Mummy won't be gone- _damn it_, this is unbelievable." I quickly apologized to her and set her down atop my bed.

My back had been driving me_ insane_ for the past couple of weeks, it was an itch actually, that would repeatedly come and go. Flaring up first thing in the morning, in the middle of the night, and at random bouts during the day.

And of course, scratching felt incredibly good so anything went - including trees.

I had started leaving the Bureau for more frequent 'shopping, recreational, and running dates', when I was really driving over to a secluded little forest just off the grounds. I wasn't considered a high-risk occupant, so I had free access to come and go as I please.

I wasn't a _quasi_-human, so I could take a trip to France and they wouldn't care really.

But as I always say, why go to France, when you have a perfectly good tree with the best bark in the city right outside your door?

_I could plead insanity when this whole thing blows over._

The frequency of the flare ups were torture, and just behind my shoulder blades, no where else it seemed. Once in a while, the muscles would start to become unbearably painful as well; I had hopefully pinpointed this aching to the rough scratching I was putting my back through.

With the state I was in however, with it being looking like a scratching post and all, I was obviously forced to find the nearest object with a sound rounded edge to jam right into the problem spot. At the time, it felt just as good as someone else doing it for me.

Temporary relief however, temporary relief.

I scratched them again for a little, staring off at my wall, until that familiar sting reared it's ugly head once more.

I hissed in pain.

Lately, the stinging had been happening more so than the itching itself, so I opted for an ice pack one day and to my delight and surprise, it had taken away the sting _and_ the itch.

Only, I couldn't just walk around with ice packs all day, I'd probably be shivering like the Titanic within the first couple of hours and secondly, how would I keep them frozen? I couldn't exactly change them hourly, my co-worker would obviously question it.

Slowly, I made my way over to the mini fridge and pulled out an ice pack that would hopefully soothe the wounds I had probably just opened up. I figured they were nothing too deep, just hundreds of tiny gashes from anything I had gotten my desperate little hands on - which is why I had been cutting them extremely short since the odd irritation started, and also why I hadn't made a trip to the Doc. True, there could be a slight infection due to my inability to reach back there with a wound ointment, but I inspected it daily and kept it as clean as I could.

See, I had already inquired around the wine cellar and down the grape vine about that toxin released from the snake I was currently grabbing little gadgets for. If I had been poisoned by it, which I wasn't, I'd been dead in thirty-six hours.

Hellboy was still standing, so I figured I was in the clear.

One thing though, has irked me about this whole ordeal that has continued to haunt me even to this day - I never recorded the date and approximate time this...petulance actually started. The irritation had been a slow and gradual come-on, so it never occurred to me that it might be something important, which it wasn't, hopefully.

It was maybe three weeks actually, if you wanted to count the weird cracking I was getting as well that one other random week. Glancing at the clock now, it was 9:00PM.

_Time to start on security I guess._

* * *

It was a handy trick of the trade I had picked up on while working here - switching the camera feeds. But for the life of me, I couldn't remember who had taught me it.

_Probably not important._

I agreed for once with no one in particular, shaking my head from thought to continue fidgeting with the wires I was currently smooshed up against.

Being in a broom closet will do this sort of thing to you.

Years ago I had gone out of my way to grab whatever necessities would be needed in an event such as this. Why they put this kind of information at ready access in the library, is well beyond my comprehensive, so I just didn't question that one. Unfortunately, the broom closet happened to be the only place I could drill into the wall directly without anyone noticing, but again, wasn't it always the place?

Sifting through the many wires now, I peered upwards with a flashlight between my teeth, searching for my old marks. "Mother f-" I muttered lowly as I whipped my arm around to scratch another bothersome itch on my left shoulder blade.

After a little searching, "Oh, hello there friend. You are always so punctual."

Abe was waiting for me in the lobby to the morgue hallways, just on the other side of the door that required the key card I didn't have - as per evidenced by this here laptop.

What I did have though, was the title for finding the channels I needed in record time, seemingly faster than the last time I was looking for it.

Finished with my computer work, I quickly covered my tracks. The hallways were pretty dead all over tonight, for once luck seemed to be on my side.

After I was satisfied with the state of the broom closet, I darted through the halls to the elevators that would take me to the lower levels, and my prize. Within minutes, I had reached my destination with my backpack slung over shoulder and gloves tightly securing hands, my arm obediently shot forward and tapped the arrow pointing downward several times. After a minute or so, the familiar _Bing! _had finally made contact with my eardrums, signalling my legs to mechanically step forward onto the elevator platform.

The glaringly bright lights from the overhead fluorescents cast over the neat row of buttons that lay before me as I sought out the number five.

_What a coincidence, that's the number of Death._

_Seven years here and you didn't notice that?_

_That's funny, I thought I was getting assistance just to get down here._

Bickering with no one in particular had made the short trip down the elevator even shorter now that I was staring at Abe just on the other side of the door.

"Hello Alaizabel."

I took a confident step forward and out of the elevator now and smiled brightly at my good friend, "How are you these evening Abe?" I politely replied as I made my way to a hug from the amphibious man.

"I'm as well as I'm going to get this evening I'm afraid. I-I don't mean to be blunt, but, I wouldn't mind being out of here as quick as possible if you know what I mean."

_Well four hours might have been a little excessive._

I didn't waste time pretending that I needed to ponder my reply, Abe looked set in his ways, "Tell me Abe, are you more afraid of being caught by security, or is it seeing that dead corpse on the autopsy table that's got you so spooked?"

He considered this for a second, "Both," He narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Ah, there it is," I replied dryly, "And what about it, do you find so frightening my friend?"

"Thomas Hobbes once said, curiosity is the lust of the mind."

I smirked as I motioned my head towards the door, silently commanding him to open it. Glancing at my watch now, I announced to no one but myself, "Time is, 10:01."

Only moments later, the soft click of a door could be heard behind a pair of fading footsteps, while gentle golden orbs could be seen watching from behind the entrance to the outside hallway glass.

* * *

It was a quick walk down a long hall to the main foyer of the Morgue, my thin tennis-style shoes barely clicking along the bare floors. Abe was always a stealthy walker, I attributed this to webbed feet and damp skin.

"Abe, how do UV Rays interact with your flesh?"

"That's an odd question Alaizabel, any particular reason why you would ask this?" He questioned me lightly.

"No reason, just a random curious thought, like what colour is a mirror," smiling at him, I paused for a moment, "I didn't mean to call you a porpoise earlier, I was only kidding." I apologized sincerely out of the blue.

The one thing that I disliked about myself was the fact that I had such a strong conscience. I thought of **everything**.

"Oh, I didn't think you were trying to insult me, you were merely _desperate_ in trying to get down here." I outwardly gawked at him now as he smiled and turned away quickly to slide his key card once more into yet another card reader, the door number above, three.

"Don't tell me _someone_ has a crush on the _Prince_ now does he?" Ending my fake accusation with a large OH plastered obnoxiously on my lips.

Holding the door open for me to grab, he laughed dryly now, "Very funny my dear, but as you are well aware, I am rather taken with his _twin _I'm afraid." I noted his facial features contort sadly for a split second, but was quickly hidden with sweet eyes that looked down to smile at me.

"He doesn't approve does he?"

"Not one bit." He flatly answered as we quickly moved down the hallway to the main autopsy lab for this sector.

"Fuck him." I smirked at my own advice.

"A**laizabel!**"

A smack to leather and a giggle could be heard momentarily.

* * *

A short while had passed and we had now entered the operating room of Morgue three, where I was currently staring at _half _a snake.

_What the fuck._

"Where's the ass?" I asked dumbfounded out of the darkness with my arms raised, not bothering to look at Abe.

The head and upper torso were held perfectly intact, and preserved in a see-thru case that I could only assume was Plexiglas. A direct beam of light was left on to perfectly illuminate the corpse, while everyone had obviously left for the day, leaving the rest of the room in total black.

"It was too large to fit the entire length of the beast into one room as you can see, so we recorded it's original length in feet." Abe was now standing next to a clipboard on the edge of the examining table, peering down the list.

"Oh, perfect then." My tone flat but mood immediately lightened, I gently placed my large black bag onto the floor, reaching in for a clipboard with a few sheets of paper and some writing already present, "If you could please read me out the following numbers, date of capture." My pen clicked expectantly.

"Why did you need this information again?"

"Science project," I didn't look up from the paper, "Now, if you please Abe, date of capture, we do have a time limit."

After a moment more of contemplation, or possibly stupor, I couldn't tell from this distance, "Yes yes, sorry, date of capture…September twenty-second."

I scribbled this down quickly.

"Approximate time of capture?"

"Eleven post-meridiem."

"Length in feet."

"Thirty-five."

"Thaank you." I drawled, finishing up my strange little list. Bending down now, I replaced the clipboard in my hands with a small video camera.

"So I know this might be a little much too ask, but could you lift the glass for just a minute for me, I need to be able to get right to the head up close."

Twiddling with my camera now, I noticed my question had hung unanswered, just as I figured it would.

"Abe, it's going to be for a minute; I'm going to go in, and take a quick series of shots. This is the last thing I need. You wanted in and out? This will give you just that."

I curtly responded to his silence, hoping that he would just man-up and get this over with, it's not like I wanted to be down here with this _thing _either.

"Alright," I could hear him take a deep breath, "Just be careful."

"Are we going to have a repeat of the library? It's **dead, right?**" I enunciated, annoyed at these little half answers I was getting.

When I had looked over at him for a reply, he could only nod, seeing how ticked off I was.

"Abe, really, thank you for doing this for me, I wouldn't have asked you if you weren't the only person I could trust with this. But I'm not liking this situation we're in either, the thing is _scary_, I'm tired and I'm sure _you're _tired and it smells kind of weird down here. " I explained the best I could with my sloppy run-on sentence, praying he would understand.

"I wanted this to be harmless, uneventful and dull as watching paint dry. Okay?"

He slowly nodded more in understanding this time, obviously knowing that I was on his side and not trying to scare or bully him.

With a simple click of a button, the sound of steam and pressure could be heard as the chamber's glass was slowly lifted.

"Work quickly, I'll let you know when you have five minutes." My accomplice's voice quietly instructed me after the glass had settled.

Taking no time to contemplate, I had already planned my approximate route of the creature - having access to the report photos always came in handy in situations like this. Not like I found myself in situations like this on a regular basis; this was the second time only for the duration of my employment and residency that I had even come down here. This had been one place I didn't have access to, amongst others of course. Before I was even bumped up to Archives, I hadn't even known this place existed. In all actuality, I was told the Bureau was an agency for, and don't quote me on this, _'environmental protection and investigation for the native ecosystems currently being harmed due to foreign species settling/invading from around the globe'._

Close Trevor…but no cigar, I still say to this day. The fake little job description still made me smile even now. I was in no way angry with the old man for lying to me; he had opened up a whole new world not available to the average citizen.

After several photos of the beast's very off-putting eyes, I had moved to it's mouth. Feeling around my pocket slowly as I studied the creature up close with my own set of eyes, I expected to just grab my little mirror without having to look away. But patting around a bunch of times revealed nothing, and I finally tore my gaze from the beast, discovering my mirror wasn't in fact on my person.

Rolling my eyes, I quickly knelt over the backpack to un-zip one of the side pockets, and thankfully, discover my mirror waiting eagerly for me.

Gliding back to the creature, I placed the miniature square mirror upon the table and proceeded to grab it's jaw.

"A-Alaizabel-" Abe had started to warn me now.

"Relax, I'm not going to open it all of the way, no one will know." I calmly explained under the mask I had slipped over my mouth prior to filming.

I stared up at the hideous beast as it lay upon it's side now, dead as can be. With a deep breath, I slowly opened it's jowls just a tad, to allow access for my small device. Placing it gently on it's grotesque appendage that I could only hope was it's tongue, I then flicked on the four little blue UV lights from the long handle I had extended out.

"Hey hey, where did you get that?" I could tell Abe's eyes were wide now, gawking at my head that was currently balls deep in the mouth of a would-be cultist weapon.

"You left it out one day in the training room, can't you get like ten new ones?"

I had actually lifted it off his belt a few months back thinking it was a cool underwater gadget of some sort, but upon further investigation, it revealed itself to be a mirror used for getting into nooks and crannies…like this.

Little UV flashlight's weren't high on my conscience list, so I kept it.

I then sent a whir of clicks at the illuminated mirror, moving it a few inches every four photos or so. Miraculously, crystal clear shots of strange markings and weird tattoo like symbols slowly started to flood my image viewer, catching me off guard - I hadn't expected the mirror trick to work, much less find anything at all. From what I gathered, I sucked at photography.

"It's not nice to take things that don't belong to you Alaizabel, but fortunately yes, it was no significant loss on my part." Abe had replied dryly to my very apparent theft of his property, but I'm sure he would forgive me in time.

"Have you found anything of interest?"

_An abundance._

"Nope, I just need to get a few of the body itself now." I smiled, hiding my camera from view.

* * *

Abe had shut the glass and locked the door faster than an Olympic runner, we were already on our way out of the main foyer, where I glanced over at the camera that I knew was not recording anything. Checking my watch now, the time read 10:47, which wasn't bad.

_Barely forty-five minutes and already on my way out._

After the last door was bypassed and we were on our way up on the elevators, did I only think to come up with a story to tell Abe. He was going to be asking a ton of questions, I mean, who wouldn't after I had asked that many detailed ones?

Abe wasn't stupid; I was precise in the pictures I was looking for, so it was only a matter of time before he started to wonder.

"Well, I do hope you have found everything you needed."

"Yes yes I did. Thank you so much dear friend, I've been working on that report for the entire mission, and I needed more…evidence on how to finish it. A few blanks I encountered was all." I hugged him now, hoping it would deflect any questions he may of have wanted to ask me there and then - I needed to get back to the closet to switch the tapes back, so I didn't have time to dawdle.

Arriving on the main floor now, we bid each other good night; with Abe taking off in the directions of his rooms, and myself in mine. I was indeed quite pleased with the amount of evidence I had managed to capture this evening. But of course, I still had work to do. Waiting until he was out of eyesight, I had quickly spun on my heel turning myself back in his direction, to the broom closet with my laptop to be precise.

After things were disassembled and my computer back in my possession once more, I had slowly made my way back for real this time. Recalling the strange markings on the beast now, I set about a plan of action to begin dismantling this… snake, though, I hadn't realized I had walked right into a tin can.

_Wait, tin can?_

"Fraulein Vargas! To whom do I owe zeh pleasure of seeing _you_ at zis' hour?"

_Shit._

"My office actually, ahaha," I smiled sweetly at the new director for the past few months now, "I had just returned from there actually when I realized I had forgotten my work, silly me." I laughed again while gesturing to my back pack.

"You must be exhausted zhen', hm? Staying out so late. You should head to bed my dear, you deserve it for vorking so _hard_."

I paused only for a moment.

"I couldn't agree with you more Sir, you have a pleasant evening." I replied thickly, turning the lock to my door.

"You as well, Fraulein."

I turned around to smile at him, where he waved to me once more. Waving back, I slowly closed my door to the hallway soundly, glad to not have to see his...face - I felt like I had been caught almost. Slowly, I began to close my eyelids while simultaneously leaning back onto the door, sinking down, revelling in the beautiful silence of my empty room.

Tomorrow was only Thursday though, meaning I still had one more day of the week until my precious weekend.

_A weekend with my face glued to the screen, that will certainly be healthy._

Barely stifling a yawn, I clamoured to my feet, making my way to my sound double bed. I smiled thinking of climbing into my comfy bamboo sheets now; having already done all of my girly things prior to leaving for my escapade with Abe, I was free to pass out whenever I wanted.

"Meow."

I sighed, now that was something I hadn't heard in a long time.


	3. Neglect

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellboy, or it's affiliates. Nor do I make profit/moneys from any TV shows, Hellboy itself, or any other junk that may be mentioned. I try to keep it to a minimal in this sense however.

A/N:

Still working on trying to get my groove on, I'm sure my words will get smoother!

I do hope you like it

Again, no Beta reader, so mind the mistakes I don't catch!

-SC

**On the Origin of the World**

**'Neglect'**

**by Smoothie Connoisseur**

Calling it a rough night would have been too kind I'm afraid.

After waking up somewhere between the hours of three and four am, I had tossed and turned until I probably dug a hole straight through to my mattress.

My legs had obviously kicked a few times, for I woke to the sound of a little thud next to my bed.

"_Sorry!_" I had thrown Oona clean off sometime before I had become lucid, earning a whack to the head in an act of revenge, whilst quickly retreating somewhere into the shadows.

My back ached, my arms ached, and of course, my whole brain felt like it had been rattled like a children's toy.

I had tried listening to music, tossing the sheets off of my bed, stretching my back, changing the pillowcases - _anything _that could possibly get me to take my mind off the horrible muscle tension I was experiencing.

I was going nuts.

To take the cake, my mind had actually started to worry that it might be a problem, creating a feeling of anxiety in the pit of my stomach, resulting in more pain. I had sincerely hoped that this was some sort of strange growth spurt I was going through, and that it would phase itself out, and soon. Not only was it taking a toll on my work life, but also my day-to-day.

After I had finally calmed down and before sleep decided to claim me once more, I promised myself to seek help if this didn't let up within the week.

Dieing due to self-neglect never looked good on one's resume.

* * *

"Wow, you look like road kill."

I had barely gotten out of bed this morning.

"Up yours Grandpa." My tone flat while I sipped my energy drink, my co-worker could only snort.

"You know those things are terrible for you, right?"

"That's why this one has green tea as the source of caffeine, and the rest is vitamins and antioxidants, genius." I curtly responded matter-of-factly.

"Wohoah, someone's got her panties in a bunch. Are you okay lately? You seem off."

_And here we go._

Sighing loudly, "I'm sorry… just haven't been getting a enough sleep," I half-lied while I rubbed my eyes, "Didn't even put any makeup on, eugh."

"You know, you haven't taken a day off since the day you started working here, perhaps it's time to use those vacation days you've accumulated."

My back started to flare-up with an itch now - I could only lightly scratch in hopes of not tearing something open. Whilst tending to said flare-up, I quickly pondered the news my co-worker had just decided to share with me.

"Vacation days?" My face visibly scrunching in pain as I continued to scratch the left shoulder blade, silently thanking the light that my friend was behind a row of computers, out of sight.

"You're **kidding**."

"What? Did you see the Corgi video?" I asked grinning.

"No **you**, you didn't know about your vacation time?"

With the itch taken care of, I leaned to my right, granting him full eye contact. A direct conversation now capable at this point.

"I figured living here was the vacation part, free parking and rent?" I replied dumbfounded with an eyebrow cocked.

Chuck's eyebrows dropped and his expression changed to a very bored and unimpressed one.

"Go see Manning, now."

"Since when is Ursula back in charge?" I leaned back to my particular computer, scratching my head now.

"Do you know how much shit you're going to be in if you ever get caught calling him that?"

"A lot probably." I clucked my teeth nonchalantly. Chuck was most likely rolling his eyes and shaking his head at my very apparent lack of need for authority.

"You _are_ a strange one Bell. But seriously, head over to Manning since he's the one in charge of agent's vacation times and pay, while Krauss is in charge of field work. I swear, you don't read memos or attend _any_ meetings. "

_Better Manning than Johann, I seemed to tick him off last night._

That was odd though, suddenly forcing me down to Manning's. I never went and saw Manning, I didn't get it.

_Suspicious Suzie over here._

Ignoring his pointed comment completely, "Well, if it'll get you off my back-" A loud HA! cut me off halfway, I ignored this too, "Then sure, I'll pay him a visit."

"Great!" A chair scuffle and some footsteps registered to my ears a moment too late, "If you don't mind, it's a bit a ways, drop these off for me?" A stack of stapled booklets fell to my lap.

_Please tell me that was it._

Peering down at the pile, "Will I be uh, receiving any goods in exchange for my services today Charles?" My favourite magazine was dropped immediately. I smiled obnoxiously at my work partner as he pushed his dark frames back to rest on his nose. I always thought him as a rather attractive older man.

_He's thirty-two, really?_

"Always something in return with you."

"No good deed goes unpunished my friend."

He scoffed now, and turned to reclaim his workspace, "Why don't you head out now, you can grab lunch with Abe instead of cooping yourself up in here like you usually do."

My face contorted painfully at this suggestion.

"**Now.**"

* * *

Approximately fifteen minutes later, my legs had betrayed me…the bastards - they had brought me to the office that now belonged to one of my bosses, Tom Manning. The balding stress bag that I couldn't see getting up in the morning without freaking out about the first movement he witnessed.

He had downgraded to a slightly smaller and less fancy office since Johann had been sent down from Washington, now residing on a permanent basis.

The split in positions most likely racked up his nerves, and emotional levels, by ten fold - a giant raging man period, may the light save us all.

Thankfully I hadn't seen the guy in quite some time; I was never one for trouble or making an appearance, and our offices were on separate ends of the complex - and an additional two floors higher, so there really was never a time I'd ever run in to him.

I stared at the steel coloured door intently for a few more minutes before I knocked.

Praying he wouldn't answer, the universe was unfortunately not on my side this time.

"_Come in!_" That familiar voice echoed out not a moment too soon.

My eyes rolled into the back of my head as it bobbed back instinctively. Still clutching my payload, I sucked a deep breath in hoping to clear my head fully.

Twisting the doorknob, I slowly peered into the mid-sized office, "Sir?" I barely managed, I was tempted to drop the papers and run. He had obviously been busy writing something since all I could see was a giant bald-spot.

"Alaizabel?" He quickly placed his pen down to the paper he had been busy scribbling on. I smiled and waved politely.

"Alaizabel! How are you?" Taken aback, I had stopped mid-stride.

_When, did he become so…lax?_

"How are **you** Sir? You seem…forgive me if I'm overstepping my boundaries here, you're really, in a good mood, I mean, look at you, shoulders down, hands are nice and lax. You doing something different?"

Approaching his desk, I immediately placed the stack of booklets in front of him and proceeded to take a seat upon one of the leather chairs.

"Oh thank you, I've been waiting on those from Chuck. And no, I uh, well yes, something is different I guess. I'm not dealing with Hellboy is what! I mean, I've gotten the best sleep I've had in years! No more complaints, out of sight and out of mind." He crooned happily at the thought, smiling from ear to ear, I was happy for him.

"Well that's good! Right?"

"Yes! How are you though, where have you been? You don't…look so well, are you feeling well lately Alaizabel?" He asked concerned now, slightly leaning over his desk in a worried gesture.

I considered this for a moment - I had to approach with extreme caution. What I said now was key so as not to arise any concern or suspicion.

"I find myself having trouble sleeping due to the endless nine to five I've grown accustomed to. Perhaps I am need of some…time off, as Chuck has actually suggested to me, he's the one who sent me up here."

"Is there anything that I need to be aware of? You're sure it's just lack of sleep from work?"

"Of course, what else would it be?"

"Nothing, well, I wouldn't know. I just thought that it was maybe something private that you were having trouble discussing was all. I'm sorry if I've overstepped my boundaries here."

"Oh, aha, no. Pretty sure it's just sleep and the daily grind, a vacation is probably what I need." I assured him, smiling confidently.

"Well, you're birthday is actually soon, isn't it?" He stopped to glance at the calendar on his computer now, eyes frowning too see the screen, "Yes, it is, you're the fifteenth of October, I remember now. Well, it wouldn't make sense if I gave you two weeks all now, that would leave us right to the day before. So," He wandered every now and then, adjusting something on the computer, "Yup, that sounds good. How about one week today, and the other half the week of your birthday, gives you a chance to celebrate, huh?" Rather pleased with his own work, a smile was very apparent from ear to ear.

_It's so scary seeing you smile this much._

"Oh, well, that's great! Thank you Sir, much appreciated. I do hope this isn't going to halt anything work wise?"

"Of course not, otherwise you wouldn't have left your office!" He laughed out loud now, seemingly at his own private joke, so I nervously laughed along with him.

"Well, if there's anything else I can do for you?"

"No Sir, once again, a thousand thanks. I'm sure I'll be good as new after these couple of weeks."

I had been half way through the door when a thought occurred to me,

"Sir, when is _your _birthday, if I could inquire."

His eyes seem to search mine and after a few moments, "May sixteenth."

I smiled now.

* * *

It was seven in the evening when the itch came, and a only minutes later before I was passed out cold on my bedroom floor.

The last thing I remember was a strange crunch.

Oona began to cry.

* * *

**A/N:**

I am establishing story, so I'm sorry this was so short!


	4. Conversions

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hellboy, or it's affiliates. Nor do I make profit/moneys from any TV shows, Hellboy itself, or any other junk that may be mentioned. I try to keep it to a minimal in this sense however.

**Author's Note:**

Just to clear things up, yes, this OC does share a common trait with me - egalitarianism. A few minor details of the story are sometimes pulled from real-life experiences, and other bits of literature I've encountered. I try to be original as possible however, in hopes of entertaining my audience.

Also, see below under the story for an additional authors note for credit, where credit is due.

**Please PLEASE note again**, I am not a believer in any specific religion. I neither condone nor do I put down any religious belief/culture/way of life. This is pure fun and fiction, the whole focus of the story is going to be on the obvious romance and fantasy portion, not her obsession. I do not aim to offend anyone, so if you find this sort of material sensitive, then I respect that, and you should have the same respect to take your eyes elsewhere. No one has sewed your eyelids open, so you are free to come and go as you please.

However, for those of you alright with this, I do hope you like it

Again, no Beta reader, so mind the mistakes I don't catch!

**-SC**

* * *

**On the Origin of the World**

**Chapter 4**

_**'Conversions'**_

**by Smoothie Connoisseur**

* * *

A sleeping figure could be roughly made out amongst the black of the room, huddled atop the centre rug. The quiet wind gently patted against the soft curtains, and un kept bed lay motionless in the pause of the eerie scene. A single cat lay curled next to it's silent owner, reminding the world that she too, had a mother.

* * *

Things were…blurry, and my limbs starting feeling intact again. My arms were tossed askew and my legs had been bundled close to my torso. Blinking my eyes revealed a faint green cast of light in the dark somewhere - I gathered this as my clock. My body hurt and my head ached. Yet I felt so relaxed…a calm seemed to be awash over me. Shutting my eyes once more, I lay limp, not wanting to move from my comfortable position...wherever it was.

Except it wasn't comfortable, it felt flat, and hard.

"I'm on the floor…" I whispered matter-of-factly to myself. A squeak to my right immediately alerted me of Oona - she had obviously been next to me the entire time I was out, wondering if I was possibly dead most likely.

"Hey honey." I smiled at her as she nuzzled my face roughly, demanding a pet of reassurance. Unfortuantely I was dead weight, but managed to scratch her chin half-heartedly.

After a few more decided minutes, I agreed that I had had enough of the concrete, and strained to lift my exhausted body from the rug I had apparently decided to spontaneously take a nap on. Eventually my eyelids flickered and my vision seemed to clear. Taking the opportunity, I glanced at my clock, registering the time as 3:37AM.

_I was out for a while._

I rubbed my sore skull as I fumbled my way through the dark to my desk to swipe my phone and check if I had missed any calls - I hadn't gone to lunch with anybody yesterday, opting for a trip out into the city. Settling on a small wrap from a local chain restaurant, I had headed back to the Bureau after a good couple of hours of wandering and driving about no where in particular. Luckily for myself, I hadn't had a major itching episode in a little while, so no trees were molested in the making of that segment of my life.

After a double-take, I couldn't believe at what I registered the date to be,

**Saturday.**

I had _missed_ Friday, along with five calls from Liz, Abe, and Chuck.

All I could remember was getting in through the door, remembering I hadn't called Manning Ursula instead, reading something on the internet and feeding Oona.

Fantastic, they probably thought I was ignoring them, when really, I was just unconscious. Now I've got another headache to worry about.

_And I just wasted a day of my vacation, brilliant._

I dragged myself to the bathroom now, needing the feel of cool water somewhere on my skin.

I felt hot.

Flicking the light on, I chanced a look in the mirror, hoping no damage had been done: my thin shoulder length, dark red hair was still there, my button nose, round-shaped face, the random beauty marks - until I shrieked in shock.

My eyes had… glitched out for a split second, I have no idea what you would call that, and my god was it _painful;_ imagine somebody yanking on the skin of your eyeballs! Something was having a little too much sick fun for my liking. Rubbing them sorely now, I steeled another glance, but they were absolutely normal as can be. Back to their green-brown.

_I'm hallucinating, clearly._

Peeling off my work shirt now, I felt an inspection of my back was maybe in order, but I gasped in horror, "_Oh my god!_ What the f-", my voice fell flat for a second as I came to coherence, "What the f-", I gingerly pressed a finger to my back, afraid to cause myself harm.

Where had the scratches gone? There had been _hundreds_ Thursday morning! I had massacred my spine with a tree and more than several instruments!

The hairs on my neck stood up now as I gaped in absolute shock at my completely, and utterly, blemish-free back. I even copped a feel with my hands, and sure enough…smooth as ice.

But my victory was short lived - suddenly, that sickening crunch of bones had stung my senses sharply, reminding me it was real, that things might not be over yet.

The sound was like nails on a chalkboard.

And stomach clenching knowing it had come from my own body, from what I assumed this far, so I didn't let myself wonder as to what it could have possibly been.

Dwelling never helped anyone.

Upon my newfound discovery, I had agreed it was necessary to start my investigation of the creature, maybe it could tell me something I was missing, highly doubtful, but worth a shot. Most importantly though, it would distract me from my rather odd situation.

First thing in the morning.

Splashing cool water to my face, I exhaled slowly, trying to calm my nerves. But images of the creature and it's strange composition seemed to trickle in every few moments or so. Luckily, my stomach growled then, rather obscenely actually.

_Well if somebody is in the kitchen at this ungodly hour…_

After feeding Oona and locking my rooms, I had briskly made my way through the halls down to the staff kitchen in record time. Upon arrival, I peered inside rather slowly just in case, but of course, no one was awake. Bent on satisfying my cravings with a fruit bowl, I sought out my prize via the one and only fridge. Quickly shuffling over, I set about discovering the available produce, and moments later, was reaching for the door to the hallway…until a slight clatter in the distance caught my attention that is.

_I should just walk away_.

_But where was the fun in that?_ I thought, never one to listen to Abe's advice, I considered my options.

Like for instance, what if it was a potential breach? Everyone would be attacked in their sleep, unprepared, mangled like sheep to the wolves - since it obviously hadn't triggered the security system…

Stuffing a grape into my mouth, I pondered on whether I should go looking for trouble in my current state.

Of course my conscience wasn't around for this…I have to stretch my legs anyways, what harm can it do?

Lazily, I used my shoulder to swing through the side door that would take me to the training rooms, I figured the noise had come from there; why a beast with the hunger for flesh would be hanging out in this section is beyond me, I never questioned my enemies actions, only seeked to know _why. _They had all been connected but had separate entrances to each quadrant, I chose the first section.

To my surprise however, a faint light had poured into the long stretch of hallway from the open door. So without thinking, I stood wide it in it's entrance way, dumbly, but immediately spotted the object of my fears, and avoidance, for the past month. I silently shrieked, completely caught off guard and rather ungracefully, ducked behind the safety of the hallway, but allowed just enough space for myself to gawk.

Who wouldn't? He was incredible...

Everything about him screamed otherworldly; some days I couldn't believe he was even real.

He was in fact, after all a fae.

An Elf.

A bed time story.

I had written the entire bogus and real report that was to be stored here, on him and his twin. It had taken me weeks to compile all of the research I could find on the Unseen Realm and the clan Bethmoora. But in the end, it was quite an impressive collection I managed to gather.

You could say I knew him rather intimately, hence my little obsessiveness...I was utterly entranced by the handsome creature from another world. Whoever wrote the draft of him was on a winning streak, clearly.

My chest slowly grew heavier, partly from nerves of being caught, and the other of witnessing such a gorgeous being of the opposite sex. My breathing became labored, and I felt almost unworthy in his presence, like I should not be laying my dirty little eyes on him or something.

I felt like I was committing a sin at the royal court.

But I couldn't help it, I couldn't look away. So I reached for another grape, and gnashed silently as I studied him -

-POP-

Until my life was over in an instant.

_Oh sure, he doesn't here me stick my face in the doorway but hears that._

I held my breath as I shut my eyes tight…maybe he didn't here it.

_Please_ let him not here it.

..

..

..

If I could have described the air at this very moment I would have - maybe something between, no air whatsoever and the sharpest knives you can find in this place.

But he stopped abruptly, and my heart sank. His head snapped to stare directly at me now, eyes glazed over, beads of sweat on his brow from the intense workout.

_I think I'm going to faint._

My eyebrows shot up innocently in response as I turned to slowly walk away, hoping to shrug the entire scene off like it was no big deal to me...too bad I could never whistle.

_Might want to walk faster you little rapist._

_How did I rape!_

_With your eyes…you __**lecher.**_

…_Quite possibly my only opportunity, had to take it._

Footsteps approached the entrance to the training rooms - my subconscious was right, I wasn't prepared for this, so I chose the coward option this evening - not my finest moment. Jogging to the kitchen and merely slamming the door, I dropped my fruit salad onto the table and peeled through to the other set of hallways.

If this guy caught me **now**, with my pants down from being unconscious for a whole day combined with shot up nerves from the experience, I would most definitely make a complete fool of myself. I needed time to think of an apology for interrupting him, and I was in no state to do so…plus I'll admit he turned me on in just the slightest way, once I got passed the kill-all-humans part.

My heart bashed against it's cage wildly as I trudged through the dim hallways now. Luckily, my room wasn't that far from the kitchen, for I found myself miraculously reaching for my door and swiping the security card through the scanner - but not before glancing down the shadowy hallway one last time.

Nearly fainting for the second time this early morning, I faintly picked up on a dark figure hovering down at the end of the stretch.

He had followed me to my apartment.

He knows where I fucking live.

_He also knows where you work._

Ignoring the obvious jab at my intelligence, how was he out without supervision anyways?

He was most likely a danger to anyone but his sister - egalitarian or not, I considered myself lucky I was still **alive**.

Thank god for electronic security I thought as my door clicked shut behind me, and I groaned outwardly as I sunk down to the bare floor for the second time this week.

What a brutal night, I had left my fruit in the kitchen.

* * *

It was somewhere around noon when I woke up - I had been exhausted despite being unconscious for over a day, and the early hour's excursion hadn't helped either. However, after I had taken a hot bath, cleaned my face and snuggled into a pair of workout pants, I had felt a million times brighter than the sun. Unfortunately, shortly after stepping from the shower, my stomach had growled something painfully fierce, signalling I was ready for some real food. So it was only a matter of minutes before I found myself in the staff kitchen.

I was ravenous.

After I had loaded up on whatever food I could grab, I quickly scurried back to my rooms like some sort of ghost, intent on not running into a single soul. Seating myself at my computer desk, I happily sated my angry stomach while I checked the daily news sites - I had missed a whole day, I felt naked.

Sometime later and with the last bite down, I licked my fingers clean as my curiosity quickly kicked in once again - I was eager to start my 'science project' - with a full week off to boot.

I bet Abe wasn't too happy to hear I had gotten time off conveniently after I had discovered a boat load of evidence on his new pet.

Evidence of what however, was yet to be determined.

The first thing I wanted to look at was of course the film footage and the pictures, they were of course, quite striking. I understood now that I had been only able to attain them through use of the mirror that conveniently held a UV light used in forensics analysis - regular photography and the naked eye would never reveal things such as these. Abe would have surely created a buzz immediately, however, this revealed a much bigger problem for me. Abe didn't think do this himself, I mean, why would he? Yet there I was, _doing it right in front of his face._ This must have registered to him as odd immediately, and the way I shrugged him off as if I hadn't found anything probably didn't help my case; I was certain now he had tried to perform the trick himself, it was only a matter of time before he approached me. Too bad he probably didn't understand the use of mirrors in the occult world, so unless he specifically asked, I had no reason to mention it.

Keeping the appearance of smoke and mirrors, no pun intended, seemed to be the best route I could take, but it probably wouldn't hold up for too long unfortunately. He would be off doing his own research as soon as I confirmed his suspicions on the nature of the symbols, that much was certain.

I was screwed.

The symbols were clear as day to any one who understood a single thing about the occult - the Ouroburos, the crucified serpent, also known as the Caduceus, and the all seeing eye encapsulated in the pyramid…but the last three, I couldn't figure out for the life of me.

I yawned loudly then, "This sucks." I had searched all of my books while the inner turmoil in my head played out, and none had contained any of their pictures, which left only one option.

"Why is it always the bloody library." I complained.

I never needed the library these days simply because ancient symbols were not normally known of. Most members of the occult one encountered on the streets were amateurs these days; you only got old symbols buried in organization logos, big corporate propaganda…and fraternities or brotherhoods.

_That last one would actually make sense_, I thought as I tapped my fingers to my lips in sync to the music.

Moments later, I was gathering my tools and evidence into a bag and locking my door , knowing I could compile the creature's statistics there as well. I had of course the slight risk of buddy being there, but I highly doubted he'd be there on a Saturday - the field agents were off, they'd most likely be roaming, leaving him no alone time.

Some fifteen minutes later, I found myself once again at the massive doors to the Bureau's literature collection. Sighing, I braced myself for anyone who might be waiting for me as I tilted a large frame open slowly to the hallways of the library. But to my pleasant surprise; no security guards, and no agents…

Whoever said the power of positive thinking was bullshit is a quack.

The library was bone dry of any living bodies, leaving me ample room, and hopefully, ample time. Placing my bag down at one of the open tables, I rifled through for the binder that held my prints of the beast's strange markings and proceeded to plop myself down into a chair. I started with the serpent with the arrow through it's head, a strange character it was indeed. Holding it up to the light, I garnered a better look at it. Thinking it best to start with the obvious occult section, I made my way to the upper levels.

After about an hour of searching, I had finally found something that was hopefully my picture.

"**Cagliostro's Serpent Seal**.

Known as the Seal of Cagliostro, this unusual symbol depicts a serpent with an apple in its mouth, impaled with an arrow. This was found amongst the personal effects of Count Cagliostro upon his death in 1795. While the symbol has obvious alchemical elements, its precise meaning is unknown."

That was all the information the book contained on it, but no matter I thought, that's why we have Google.

The next was the strange man with the sword, he was depicted with snakes for legs. This one took probably the longest to find, at least two hours it felt after I spared a glance at my phone. Each time I thought I had found it, a closer look revealed it to have an extra line or letter in it, which happened to be important and distinct to the symbol. But alas, hidden away at the top of a shelf and tucked behind a few stray books, was my mystery man.

"Abraxas, also known as Abrasax, is a Gnostic solar deity associated by the ancients with Yahweh, Mithras and the Celtic Belenus, as well as Yeshu (Jesus). Amulets and seals bearing the figure of Abraxas were common in the second century, and were used as recently as the thirteenth century in the seals of the **Knights Templar**. By medieval times, Abraxas was relegated to the **ranks of demons**."

It really dawned on me then - whatever this thing _was,_ back when it was still eating people, it was definitely of occult origin, and it's creators knew a thing or two about it's history. They seemed to be intimately connected with the chemistry world; having the ability to concoct something that large to start, Calgiostro's Seal has alchemical properties to it's origins, and finally, they chose the Caduceus as one of their symbols to sign with, a universally known symbol for _medicine._

The final caricature was a strange triangle with an X overlapping it, and the oddest lowercase v, that also formed a curvy letter M. It was a daintily drawn symbol, etched directly on the roof of it's mouth.

When I had finally stumbled upon it, an ominous chill seemed to sweep the room.

"The Sigil of **Lucifer** is a lesser known historical magical sigil used occasionally as an emblem by **modern Satanists**. The image originates in the sixteenth century Italian _Grimoirium Verum_, or "Grimoire of Truth." Used in conjunction with other symbols, its original purpose -"

"Brother, you mustn't keep yourself locked away during the day, only to come out at night and exhaust your body till' the wee hours of the morning -"

"Perhaps I should read one of your books then, hm? Bury myself amongst their pages, like you seem to, encase myself in a _steel _fantasy world, remind myself what Bethmooran fruit tastes like."

Positive thinking right out the window, officially worst day ever.

And that was my cue to make myself known, so after quickly marking my page, I slammed the book shut as hard as I could - the echo reverberating off of the walls loudly, just as I intended. Dragging my chair with a squeak as I stood up to collect my things, I didn't bother to glance around the bookshelf I was currently stationed behind. After composing myself, I stepped out from behind the safety of the tomes. An awkward silence befell the room now as I caught their stare immediately.

_Yes, I heard your little fight, now I am removing myself. _I managed a nod to both royals with my eyes, hoping that would suffice as I made my way to the door.|

But my worst fears came true.

"Alaizabel, there you are! I haven't heard a word from you since you've taken your time off, you haven't returned any of our calls, is everything alright?"

"Since when did you get a cell phone?" I looked at him dumbly.

"Nice try diverting the subject, what is that book there, in your hand? You've been avoiding me haven't you, you've been avoiding Liz." He was accusing now as he took a step forward.

"It's a note book, people make notes in it." I needed to get out of here quick.

He narrowed his eyes darkly now, which caught me off guard.

"I've had enough of your secrets, secrets create conflict, this, is not like you, something has you got you whiled up."

"Not like me? I'm a hermit Abe, Secret is my middle name," I explained rudely as I made my way to get passed him, but was blocked by a blue appendage flat against my collarbone. My friend stared at me hard.

I was only too aware of our audience.

"What are you hiding Alaizabel?" Abe whispered, with a hint of a worried threat in his voice.

Slinking around his arm slowly, "You automatically assume I'm hiding something because I'm holding what, a girly little journal?" I pouted my lips, mocking him as I slowly backed away towards the stairs to the doors.

"That is one voluminous journal little girl - you didn't strike me the kind to depict pentagrams and century old demonic Latin incantations in your free time." Nuada openly mocked me.

I scoffed in shock, eyebrows raised in disbelief.

_Ok smartass, you win. I never doubted you would._

"Ahuh, and pride is a sin my friend." I looked back to Abe as I tossed the large tome in my hands to the floor with a loud and very abrupt thud.

"Here you go buddy, all yours." It landed at Abe's feet as I took the opportunity to slink out the large doors.

Too bad for Abe - I didn't need that one. Hopefully with my performance in there and the bait I've thrown at his fins, I've bought myself some more time to work in peace.

* * *

It was later on in the evening when the familiar sound of blaring sirens began to pelt my ear drums.

"DAMNIT!" I almost fell clean off my chair at the sudden interruption. Quickly pressing my fingers to my temples, I waited patiently as I hunched over my desk for the infernal racket to end.

Eternities later, a silence befell my room, and I let out the long awaited breath I had been holding onto since my eyes had almost popped out of their sockets.

Did they think this was practical for a patient trying to recover after a violent mission in the sewers?

Or a particular episode with a band of trolls?

Imagine that, you've got Eduardo napping peacefully in critical recovery after a near death experience, tubes hooked up to every ventricle possible in his poor little body, he's been in a coma for four weeks… when all of a sudden a bright red siren as loud as a space shuttle launch goes off next to his ear canals.

Yeah, that'll hold over well in court.

That was my potential everyday - a heart attack and a month long coma - all caused by this ridiculous alarm.

I tried not to think about it on a daily basis due to the fact it would probably drive me insane, but I found it hard to forget when the thing clearly enjoyed making it's presence known at any chance it could get.

Hardly turning my attention back to my computer screen, I poured over what I had dubbed my science project.

The urge to finish the passage on the final symbol wouldn't go away even throughout my dinner. Shifting slightly in my seat as I reached for the mid-sized tome I had grabbed from the library, I thumb through it quickly to reach my familiar page.

"Used in conjunction with other symbols, the original purpose of the sigil was to **aid in a** **visual invocation of the angel Lucifer. **The figure is probably derived from an earlier work, most likely drawn from a magic square whose origins are now lost. The emblem is sometimes referred to as the "**Seal of Satan**," although this is not a historical usage. "

I had confirmed my suspicions, I felt no need for any reals doubts any longer.

But then again, I was crazy.

Grabbing my rather large and rather worn hard plastic notebook, I flipped through to the creature's digits I had extracted from Abe's lab.

"Date of capture was September twenty-second. Well, that's a nine and a twenty-two right in my face. Uhh, let's see," I jotted the numbers down next to each other in my familiar number deciphering layout. "Time of capture was eleven PM. Again, blunt."

I placed another plus sign and an eleven next to it with my brows raised in obvious confusion. Punching twenty two plus nine plus eleven into my calculator, the result, seventy seven.

"How in-your-face do you want to get? Let's throw in your size for good measure, shall we?…thirty-five feet. Add that together and I get a one hundred and twelve, which is reduced to four. Yes, and if you simply reduce thirty-five, you receive an eight, the supposed Jesus number."

_How peculiar._

"Rather odd for such a demonic bastard. They're known to hide behind Catholicism yes…but too many strategic numbers here." My brows furrowed in confusion this time as I repeated the possibilities out loud.

"If I multiply the two I get fifteen yes, but what if that wasn't the deciding factor? What if they only used addition…" I tapped my pen to my lips, brows furrowed in thought.

"They've _only _used addition so far…fuck me. **Feet! **What if they've done conversions!"

A light bulb suddenly sparked to life inside my brain as I quickly converted my thirty five feet to inches - the United States' version, also known as the Imperial version, of the metric system. Why it hadn't been recorded in that originally was now a new question unanswered that I felt to determined to solve, for another day.

"Ah there you are, thirty-five feet is actually four hundred and twenty inches. When reduced, you become six. I knew I'd find y- oh, and look at that. Nine from September and six from the length, the only numbers you can't reduce add to fourteen, which is five. I didn't even have to multiply. Oh shucks."

I rolled my eyes as I dropped my pen to stare at my new set of numbers.

Somebody really wanted this to go off without a hitch. No one would intentionally put this many malicious intending numbers with this many malicious intending symbols to put on a welcome wagon.

Their object was clear; murder.

But of whom?

_Well, who was there to catch the thing?_

I had already considered this, but that didn't make sense. Nobody knows this place exists, nobody knows **we **exist. The people or person responsible must have premeditated knowledge of us to plan _according_ to us. Red and the team were called there to respond to a disturbance by a troll. It is by coincidence this thing happened to be peeling around when our friend decided to break down an Asian market's back door because he was hungry and stupid.

_Whatever you say, boss._

"Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to ask about how many people were present at the time of capture, and specifically, who."

* * *

**Additional Author's Note:**

**The symbol verses/information were obviously not created by me. These are actual symbols pulled from history, but more specifically, http /**

**My words were taken from there exactly whenever there are paragraphs describing the symbols Alaizabel has encountered. **

**SORRY I HAVE TAKEN FOR EVER TO UPDATE.**

**Could I say…lack of ambition due to work related political bs?**

**I think yes!**


	5. Happy Birthday, Missus Vargas

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hellboy, or it's affiliates. Nor do I make profit/moneys from any TV shows, Hellboy itself, or any other junk that may be mentioned. I try to keep it to a minimal in this sense however.

**Author's Note:**

**Life happened.**

**Forgive me.**

**I love writing, and I love smutty romance even more. I WILL NEVER STOP…until this story is complete. ;)**

**FIRST FOUR CHAPTERS HAVE BEEN EDITED…AGAIN. Don't you just love me…but I'm actually satisfied for real this time. I am moving forward, no more back tracking crap.**

Additional Note: Remember, this is a complete Alternate Universe, I know it sound's bloody farfetched. However, I've never seen anyone take the conspiracy theories and really weave it into a story, I thought I'd try it out!

Just to clear things up, yes, this OC does share a common trait with me - egalitarianism. A few minor details of the story are sometimes pulled from real-life experiences, and other bits of literature I've encountered. I try to be original as possible however, in hopes of entertaining my audience.

Also, see below under the story for an additional authors note for credit, where credit is due if there happens to be a need for it.

**Please PLEASE note again**, I am not a believer in any specific religion. I neither condone nor do I put down any religious belief/culture/way of life. This is pure fun and fiction, the whole focus of the story is going to be on the obvious romance and fantasy portion, not her little obsession. I do not aim to offend anyone, so if you find this sort of material sensitive, then I respect that, and you should have the same respect to take your eyes elsewhere. No one has sewed your eyelids open, so you are free to come and go as you please.

However, for those of you alright with this, I do hope you like it

Again, no Beta reader, so mind the mistakes I don't catch!

**-SC  
**

* * *

**On the Origin of the World**

**Chapter 5**

_**'Happy Birthday, Missus Vargas'**_

**by Smoothie Connoisseur  
**

* * *

They're ability to live amongst us, but simultaneously rule us without our knowledge, was absolute genius in my opinion. Waking every morning and going to bed at night knowing this still had a slight effect on me some days - that feeling of being nothing but a tiny rat, in one big giant maze. I wanted full control of my life, and knowing someone else pulled the strings of my social infrastructure made me angry. As that famous guy once said, we are the all-singing all-dancing crap of the world, no one is above another.

If only eighty percent of the population had woken up to their enslavement, instead of eight, people like Nuada would have never had the drive to destroy my race. It seemed to me there were four parties in this situation; the sheeple humans, the awakened humans, the Satanist overlord/worshippers, and the oppressed magical creatures from the old world who were caught in the middle.

I felt pity for all of them, but even more so, for myself; you'd have to be bat-shit crazy to believe that creatures like Hellboy or Abraham even existed…how can you explain a ruling elite bent on another five-thousand year enslavement dynasty who also happen to worship the devil?

You just can't compete with that.

It's so unbelievable, that you'd have to be a mental patient to actually even consider it. So how does that make me look?

Like a mental patient, that's right.

* * *

It had been a week since the argument with Abe in the library and I was back at work…and still no where near close to a solution on how to find out how many people were on the mission. I was nice and rested, that was a given, caught up on plenty of sleep, but if anything it hindered my progress. It's not that this bit of information would be life changing, but it would certainly seal the deal on any suspicions that I currently had. What really sucked, was the fact that I had to ask around for this bit of information, since it was dubbed 'sensitive'.

_Blow me, sensitivity._

What sucked even more, was that I was screwed. Abe would be all over **anyone** who was involved with that OP after my little episode in the library - he was a scientist above all things, so I couldn't blame him for wanting to find answers. But it's not like I could just give up my dignity for the sake of his work, could I?

He'd of cut me off though, I know it.

He's either told them to keep their mouths shut and not tell me anything, or keep their mouths shut and not tell me anything, then report it to him.  
What a blue, bastard.

In the end however, it was entirely my fault; I got overwhelmed due to the situation and lack of sleep and should have just politely excused myself with some sort of lie about feeling ill, then I wouldn't have found myself in this predicament.

I was literally going to have to crawl to him, or he was going to trap me until I spilled my guts.

I saw the lab chart, the results were dubbed inconclusive and they had no leads on it - until _I_ came prancing along with my little camera and occulty tome that Prince _Know-it-all _so handsomely pointed out…damn that ridiculously good looking jerk off.

If I had a nickel for every asshole that ruined my peace I'd of opened a stock exchange by now.

That point aside, the stage had been set - if he's actually discovered even a single anomaly out of place after experimenting with one of my methods which I'm _sure _he has, the sharks were going to be eating heartily very soon.

That is…only after he's actually had the chance to corner me.

I could hide forever; birthdays, Christmas, New Years, Halloween…name it, he won't have the chance unless I'm **really **sick or hung over, which honestly doesn't happen, ever. Besides, it's not like finding out about this thing is part of my job - I wasn't exactly lying to Abe when I said it was a science project.

So that was my big game plan after my brainstorming session - avoid Abe at all costs.

I clucked my tongue at that, and sighed in frustration as I lounged in my usual seat for a moment, I wasn't off for another two hours unfortunately.

That wasn't going to be fun - staying away from Abe purposefully; we're actually quite good friends and tended to hang out when we could. It wasn't often, but he made time at least once a month, which was good enough for me. The other agents in the Bureau honestly didn't entertain me - why hang out with humans when you can hang out with a talking fish who enjoys Vivaldi?

Can't compete with that, maestro.

* * *

So I found a new love again…which would make it an old flame really, running.

Yes, good old treadmill running, since the grounds were covered in dogs and the outer grounds were covered in more dogs. It was a great stress reliever, and I was getting my body a little bit back into shape, which was always a bonus. Not that I was a guru or some sort of acrobat, I quite literally sucked in that department - which is why I was an Archivist, not a quasi, but it was something none the less. I was never huge, and I wasn't currently close to it, but I was a firm believer in health and so physical activity was a must. So it was the treadmill every night after work, the treadmills just outside this door actually.

I had been avoiding society, which is the bureau in my world, for two whole solid weeks now.

Paranoia of being caught by Abe or one of his spies that I had made up in my head had kept me on alert and secluded me from friends…it didn't bother me, really. I'd give him a good month or so and he'd of forgotten, and things will be back to normal before I knew it. So in lieu of the waiting game, I find myself currently hauling at top speed on previously aforementioned treadmills in one of the older and less used work out rooms - back on vacation once again, for a few more days that is. I thought I'd use it for getting some precious work out time in there.

The particular training hall was rather large, but lacked the amount of fancy machines that most agents liked to use; consisting of a few treadmills, a collection of dumbbells and free weights, and an exercise bike. The rest was a wide open area perfect for sparring.

Too bad I'd never fought a day in my life, my punches wouldn't be able to hurt a wet fish.

That's when I caught sight of Abe in the corner of my eye on a mission towards me. I was stunned for a moment, but quickly turned down the speed on my treadmill and pulled my headphones from my ears. An intense violin dubstep beat filled the air then.

_Three weeks, you're despicable, I'll have your head for this._

"Good afternoon Alaizabel…I hate to interrupt you, how are you feeling these days?" He simultaneously greeted and questioned me with soft eyes full of concern.

Internally I rolled my eyes and slowly replied, "Productive," I turned the volume down on my Ipod then, "Work is great, sleep is fine, Oona isn't causing problems and Red and I are going to do some rock climbing. What's new with you?" I spewed, not really caring for small talk at this point - I knew when I was caught.

I hear Abe sigh now, "I'm well thank you - Alaizabel, you know I will always have your best interest in mind and that I am on your side, I am here to listen should you need anything and if you happen to be having troubles, you are always free to come to me. We understand how it was a little difficult adjusting to life here in the beginning. That being said, I have noticed your new…sudden interest, in the occult, as of recently. And quite frankly, it troubles me."

"How?"

I was blunt.

"Well for starters, it is your birthday today, and not a single soul has heard from you in the past two weeks. I find you here, in the place farthest from people you can possibly be in the Bureau besides your own rooms. Charles has become increasingly worried about your disconnection from the staff, and the only thing that seems to command your attention are those books. Books on the occult, on Satan. Now I assure you, this, is not the right path for someone of your caliber to be treading."

I laughed out loud at the sudden realization of what he was getting at - he thought I was practicing Satanism.

He actually thought I was capable of taking this psycho babble bullshit seriously.

Poor Abraham, if only he knew how against the devil I really was and how I would love to crush anyone who dare worship that war-mongering, cheese-eating rat bastard.

Judging by the frosty look I was receiving, Abraham wasn't entirely impressed with my little outburst.

Oh wait…I could play this.

I could totally play this, deflecting any and all attention I had cast on myself. If I could convince him to think that I was taking a keen interest in the _practice _of the occult, rather than the big picture…I was off the hook!

I just had to play my cards right.

_Your genius is showing again!_

Quickly suppressing my laughter, I became solemn, putting on the actress we all have caged within us, I feigned stupid little girl as I turned to face him, "Oh…Abe, I didn't realize you were actually worried about me. Does this stuff…have that kind of effect on people? I'm sorry if I've seemed kind of distant as of late…perhaps I am feeling a little under the weather, socially."

I then mustered the biggest kitten eyes the world has ever seen.

And Abe was mush.

"Oh Alaizabel! Thank goodness, we were all so worried we were losing you somehow, I am glad to hear you are open to suggestion and information. Happy Birthday!" He reached abruptly across the treadmill bar then, catching me by surprise, "We've planned a little theater night in the library for you, Red has chosen two of your favourite films that you may choose from and we've thrown together a little meal. Be there for six o'clock, try not to be late."

And with that he was gone - no time to refuse.

Son of a bitch.

I hated surprise parties.

I hated surprises.

I hated parties, for me.

What the _hell_, Abe?

* * *

It was the entire two hours I had between the end of work and the start of this…party, that I had spent getting ready.

Which consisted of touching up my already makeupped face (hey, degree of professionalism here, thank you very much), slipping into some plain black leggings, an off-the-shoulder dressy top and some cute little flats reserved for the few times I actually did dress up.

Sorry, _actual _dresses, just weren't my thing.

Now here I was, in front of the familiar doors of the Bureau's vast collection of books - the library as some may refer to it as - and already I was going to vomit. Not even a spot of alcohol was in me yet, how shameful was that?

I never did well with crowds, I did even worse as the centre of attention.

Seriously, I think I just swallowed my brain.

"Hey Happy Birthday sweetie! I brought ya' a beer!"

Jostling me from thought, my head immediately snapped to my right to reveal an already slightly intoxicated Red, sporting a two-four under his arm and a Cuban cigar in his mouth.

The library door then swung open to reveal two small tables filled with food, a few balloons, a projector and screen, several couches, and the usual study tables had been cleared and replaced with two vases of orchid flowers - my favourite.

And there stood my friends, who were really, my whole world.

It was a surprise party planned as a collective for me; I thanked them graciously, eager to give a good impression and hopefully keep everyone happy for a while - don't get me wrong, there was a part of me that needed this.

In the end it was only Red, Abe, and Liz - but in all actuality, that was dozens plenty for me. It was the quality of the friendship that I went by, not by the quantity you had. Friends are people who will be there for you even on your worst of days; they question what's troubling you instead of pointing fingers, offer you a shoulder for support, and stay up late eating junk food watching movies when things just aren't going right.

"Thaanks guys," I drawled sweetly, albeit nervously, as I entered the room with my arms outstretched.

That's when I notice the Princess sitting on a couch with a tea in hand.

"Oh hey! Thanks for coming! I didn't know about any of this until one o'clock this afternoon, but I figure it was probably meant to be that way." I laughed apologetically for not noticing her there right away.

"No no of course not, it's no trouble at all, happy twenty-fifth birthday," she smiled warm and genuine then as she waved off my apologies politely.

Nuala truly was the epitome of innocence - polar opposite of her twin. Some days, it was completely impossible to fathom that her own brother had almost murdered Red, and then planned to off the rest of us.

No wonder he scared the shit out of me.

However, she did remind me of him pretty much every single time I came into contact with her - I hadn't seen the Prince since my little slip up in the training hall - and it chilled me to the slightest degree I could admit. Nuada Silverlance wasn't a guy you wanted to be friends with; he was angry at the world, and more importantly, he was angry with his own sister. That could prove to be dangerous if he should get fed up enough one day, since she might not be able to persuade him.

He was now locked up in this place, labelled as a high risk occupant and a threat to the public. It was as if we was some sort of caged leopard, unable to see the light of day. I wasn't even sure that they let him out once in a while for some fresh air, probably too paranoid he'd escape.

I felt sorry for him, once I got passed being scared out of my shorts.

"Guys, you really didn't have to do any of this, especially with my social reputation," that's when I notice a huge plate of fresh banitka sitting patiently for me atop one of the tables of food, and tiger brownies, "Except those, those were necessary."

The room began to fill with laughter and loud music shortly after.

* * *

"Oh my goodness, ice cream cake?!"

"Alaizabel, that's every year, don't act surprised." Liz chided with a grin.

"In all honesty, I'm surprised you guys still do it every year - I figured you'd get fed up." And I laughed obnoxiously then.

"Fed up of ice cream cake? Never!" Red declared heartily as he sipped his beer.

I feigned a look of hurt then, "Oh thanks." He only winked and grinned as the rest of the collective laughed at our banter. "So uh, what are these two options I have for movies for this evening's entertainment? Secondly, how do you know these constitute as favourites of mine?"

"Clerks II or Pan's Labyrinth," the demon pointed out nonchalantly.

"Damn…you're right, good job Red. However… was it your genius idea to suggest Clerks II with Princess Nuala here? I mean, do you want her scarred by a donkey show for life? Even more importantly, do you want me speared on a pike by her very human-loving brother?"

Abe and Red both blew into hysterics then with Red pounding his hand on his thigh like some sort of overgrown wild monkey coked up on ketamine by the local vet.

They were being hyena's, and it was nine o'clock in the evening, someone was bound to be pissed, but I just let it drag on.

The Prince could blow me, didn't this room have sound proof walls or some shit?

It was some time before they had finally calmed down from their little tirade - only three people in the room actually knew what the hell was going on - but eventually they settled down, and I chose Pan's Labyrinth, as soon as I could.

But not without having a celebratory doobie via Jamaican shower - it was custom on each other's birthdays, including Abe's - all the quasi's and human field agents knew this already, it was just new to the royals.

I stood up abruptly then, silencing the room from the little conversations that had been going on as I set up the projector, "Red! ….to the shower," And with that dramatic command, I took my leave in search of Red's and Liz's rooms.

"Give us fifteen minutes," Red grinned as he quickly made his way out.

Nuala could only look to Abe inquisitively, searching for some sort of explanation. Liz giggled slightly while adding, "They're going to get high. They do it on their birthday's - it's their way of breaking the rules and celebrating their day. I don't see the allure about it, but hey, it keeps him sane."

Nuala looked to Abe then, still a little confused, "It is…a recreational drug that humans…and Red, partake in as another form of intoxication, like wine or beer, the effects however are slightly different on the body."

"It's called Cannabis, or Marijuana, or just weed. Makes your brain fuzzy, it's harmless." Liz added flippantly.

"I see. What does this, film, happen to be about?" Nuala changed the subject, unsure of where to go next on that one.

"It is a story of a little girl's journey back to the underworld in nineteen-forty-four Francoist Spain. She is aided by a faun from the labyrinth on the plantation they inhabit, who guides her through a series of trials to prove her immortality unsoiled." Abe provided elegantly.

Nuala's eyes lit up at this thought immediately, "Oh how delightful, is there a happy ending?"

"We can't tell you that, we'd be spoiling it for you!" Liz teased the beautiful elf princess in front of her.

* * *

That ganja was strong.

"Ah shit…I've the squinties," I declared ruefully as I carefully inspected myself.

"No worries kiddo, I'm sure Abe's informed her by now," a heavy arm quickly patted my back in consolation.

* * *

"Well I'm a genius; I pick the movie I always cry in, always, the ONE movie."

"Yeah I know, such a pussy sometimes."

I looked to Red then and glared as hard as I could, then proceeded to slink to the projector and fiddled with the menu screen.

"Ok, so Princess, this movie is in Spanish…so there shall be subtitles…for the Spanish impaired…like myself. You'll see little words at the bottom of the screen, some people find them annoying, however, I assure you, this movie is so bloody worth it! The storyline, the visual effects, the acting, inthismoviewillblowyourmind. You gotta' wonder if this guy was on something when he wrote this, I swear." My hands and enthusiasm convinced her as she smiled excitedly as she nodded.

"Why does the story make you weep?" Nuala inquired lightly.

"Oh," I took a seat as I dimmed the lights with one remote and readied the play button with the other, "It's...a certain part of the story. But it makes sense, it has to happen, it's necessary in order for the plot to work. At least, that's how I like to think of it in terms of a fantasy or mythological point of view."

* * *

I was trying so hard not to cry.

In the end I couldn't help it, so I tried my best to remedy my situation by vocalizing it, "It's so _sad!_ Arrrrrrgh, but it's necessary!"

It was the ending, where she gets owned by Captain Asshole.

"So that was the part." Nuala stated as she tried to understand my grand conclusion.

"I think, well, since the director and writer of this movie said it was open for interpretation, I think honestly, she HAD to die, because the Underworld is where you go after death. Hades rules, River Styx, the Cerberus."

A moment of thought passed Nuala's enchanting eyes then, "I think I can see your point, you have a unique way of looking at things."

"Did you enjoy it?" I asked, eager to know her opinion.

Another moment she took to decide her answer, "I did, there were many memorable moments. It was a beautiful story. Perhaps I might show it to my brother one day, if he care to."

"Oh here you can have this one, I've got like ten billion copies of it," smugly adding, "The joy of the internet."

* * *

After everything had been put in storage and food returned to the kitchen, the party bid goodnight to one another.

Only Alaizabel and Red stayed awake on two fold-out card table chairs, with Red drinking beer repetitively, and Alaizabel downing gin and juice - she'd made herself two extra for her after hours party with her friend.

"Happy Birthday babe," Red slurred as they toasted drinks and she grinned.

"Merci, monsieur," Alaizabel took a rather large gulp of her mixed gin.

Minutes passed with playful small talk, each reminiscing about something amusing as they drank, genuinely enjoying each other's company.

"Tell me, what have you been up to lately," He asked suddenly while pointing at me still clutching his beer, "Abe says you've been all weird with the demons, and the devil…and all that nonsense. What gives?" He finished on in a light, but concerned note.

"Curiosity killed the cat my friend," I stated candidly, adding, "Why can't I be the cat for a little while?" I tipped the rest of my gin back then.

Hellboy considered this for a moment, before shrugging, "I guess I'm good with that," downing his last beer, the familiar sound of a can crunching could be heard echoing throughout the spacious library.

"Well, I'm all partied out, how's about you big guy?" I said standing up, intending on calling it a night.

"Yup, that's it for me," He groans out tiredly as he slowly gathers himself.

It was two in the morning and after a big hug, Red retired to his rooms, and I to mine. Kicking my shoes off, I snuggle with Oona for a few minutes before I decide to cleanse my face and change into my comfy lounge attire.

It was only a few minutes before a haze of alcohol induced slumber seemed to creep upon my senses, and all too soon was I out cold.

* * *

**Additional Author's Notes:**

**1. **I am not a racist, I've smoked many a Jamaican showers with many a black folks, and they've all used this term. If anything, stoners wouldn't care if it was called purple octopus magical pixie horse showers - Jamaican just happens to be the term - why can't Persians take crazy stoner showers, hmm? Then it'd be called a fucking Persian shower, or better yet, why don't we make it equal, how about a bloody rainbow shower? There. Settled.

**2. **I am going through one of the biggest transitions of me life…please bear with me, I promise I'll do better! However…my internet might be gone for a little while…part of my change is moving, but it's not any old move!

**3. **I'm sorry I'm taking forever.

**4. **I'm sorrrrrryyy, nayuhhhhhhhhh.


End file.
